I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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