you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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