Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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