glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
