Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
