you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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