Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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