what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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