I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
