i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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