I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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