i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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