some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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