She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
