Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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