I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize