in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
