I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
