i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
