Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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