naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We're too hungover to prance.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
