Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize