carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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