Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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