She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
