Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
how drunk are you?
Several
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
