We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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