Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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