I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
