he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
