I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
