batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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