apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
