susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
