: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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