it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
