it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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