Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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