I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
