who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
