so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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