I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
