Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i think im in europe. pls send help
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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