i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
