Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
