so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
