Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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