He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
