You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
