She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize