yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
