I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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