You're completely useless in the revolution.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
