i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize