shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
high people should be assigned attendants
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
