I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
