I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
