did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize