i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize