Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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