I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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