Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
