There was a lot of him and a little penis
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
