There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
